Calling For You
by Abbyilr
Summary: Summary: When Dean is given the mark, you didn't think things could get any worse. That is until the love of your life dies, and his body vanishes. Y/n will do anything and everything to get him back, even if that means she gets hurt. Pairings: Dean x Reader, Sam x Reader (platonic). Warnings: Swearing, Blood, torture, PTSD Dean, Angst, Sadness, Dark Reader.
1. Calling For You - Part 1

After Metatron has killed Dean in the warehouse you found it harder to get out of bed every day. He was the love of your life, and you couldn't imagine life without him. You had to move back into your old room in the bunker because you couldn't stand the thought of being surrounded by all of his things every day, Sam hadn't yet given Dean the Hunters Funeral, so Dean's body was laying on his bed, undisturbed by both you and Sam since you had gotten home.

One day when you were slugging your way to the kitchen, you noticed that the door to Dean's room was open. You rushed to it to see if somehow he had come back, having known the Winchesters for years you knew of all the ways they cheated death. Pushing the door all the way open you notice that his room was empty, still not letting go of hope you check ever one of the rooms in the bunker. The last place you looked was the library, where you found Sam, alone.

That's when you broke down into tears.

"Y/n," Sam said startled, and you collapsed onto your knees. Sam rushed to catch you and held you close to his chest as you heaved out a sob.

"He's g-g-gone Sam, h-h-his bod-d-dy is gone," you sob.

"What!" Y/n what do you mean his body is gone!?" Sam asks, holding you far enough away that he can see your tear-stained face.

"I-I-I was walking to the kitchen for b-b-breakfast… and w-w-when I was w-walking p-past his r-r-room I l-l-looked in a-and h-his… h-h-he w-w-was…." you couldn't even finish your sentence, but that was all Sam needed to drop you too the floor and sprint to his brother's room.

In a heap on the floor, you continue to sob. The tears only stop when you hear a rustling come from behind you. You turn around to see Sam with his duffle bag, throwing book after book into his bag.

"What are you doing?" you sniffle.

"I'm going to find my brother," Sam replied.

"Alright, then… I'm coming too," you state firmly.

"No Y/n, I don't know what we're walking into, I can't risk you getting hurt too," Sam says. "You're all the family I have left," he sighs.

"That's exactly why I need to come, Sam, you're all I have left right now too, so I can't let you go along," You're standing right in front of him, looking him dead in the eyes.

In that next second, Sam has lifted you over his shoulder and is walking you down the hallway.

"Sam! Stop! Let me help you, I need to get him back! Sam please!" you scream as he walks you to the dungeon, were he knowns you won't be able to get out of.

He puts you down and grabs you by the arm to take you over to the far wall, were old shackles still hang, and he shackles your wrists. The whole time you've been shouting profanities at him and kicking trying to get out of his strong grasp.

"Sam Winchester you let me out of these cuffs now!" you scream.

"I'm sorry Y/n, but I can't have you getting hurt too," He says and turns to leave.

"Sam Winchester you get your ass back here right now and uncuff me! Or so help me god you will regret it!" you scream back, but he's gone, and the dungeon door closed.

_**I hope you liked this, I thought of this idea last night and really wanted to get this done in one go. But while writing it I thought it might be better as a series. Tell me what you think! Note: other chapters will be longer hopefully. **_


	2. Calling For You - Part 2

It had taken you all of twenty minutes to get out of those shackles, but now you have to find your way out of the dungeon. Sam was long gone by now, but that doesn't mean you still can't help him. Wandering around the dungeon, which is lined from wall to wall with funky gadgets that the men of letters used to conduct their supernatural experiments.

The door to the dungeon was metal, so you couldn't kick it down, still scanning the room you come across a crowbar. Picking up the crowbar you feel it had a good amount of weight to it, and shove it into the seam where the door meets the frame. You push a pull for what feels like hours, and it doesn't budge. Throwing the crowbar to the ground with a loud clunk, silence fills the room. All you can hear is the sound of your labored breaths, and the flutter of wings flapping.

You lift your head and are met with the crystal blue eyes of Castiel.

"How'd you get in here?" you ask annoyedly, throwing your head back down in defeat.

"Sam and Dean removed some of the angel wardings for me," he says. "Sam told me to bring you some food,"

You lift your head back up.

"You know where Sam is?" you ask eagerly.

"Ye-" Cas is cut off by you jumping to your feet and shaking his shoulders.

"You need to take me to him now!" you plead. "Cas you have to, I need to help him, please Cas!"

"Y/n Sam told not t-" he stops when you grab him by the face, so he's looking directly at you.

"Cas… Look at me, in my eyes." you start. "I need to get him back, and I will do anything it takes… even if it means getting hurt."

Cas studies your face for a minute, he can see the pain in your eyes.

"Fine," he grumbles and you are both zapped into a dirty motel room.

"Jesus Cas ...Y/n." Same says shocked. "Cas I thought we had a deal."

"Don't you blame Cas for any of this, it wasn't his fault you locked me in the dungeon," you say smugly

"Y/n, you shouldn't be here, you could get hurt," Sam says.

"Sam I hunt with you every day, and this is Dean we're talking about, Sam I love him and I can't sleep knowing I didn't do anything to find him,' you say.

Sam sighs, "Y/n I found Dean," he says

"W-w-what?" you whisper. "Where is he, why is he not with you?!" you shout.

"Because he's a demon." You look at Sam, wide-eyed. "Crowley called me to tell me he was with him," Sam says. "I'm going to meet him now,"

"Sam you have to take me with you, I need to see him," You say sternly.

"Y/n you re-"

"I'm not taking no for an answer Sam, I'm going" you stood your ground.

Sam looked back and forth from you to Cas, before he let out a defeated breath.

"Fine, but you need to stay behind Cas and me, and listen to me when I ask you to do something,"

"I will Sam," you reply. You can see the pain behind his eyes too, and you forget that you are both experiencing a million emotions at once and that he loves Dean just as much as you do.

You, Sam and Cas climb into the impala, seeing Sam in the driver's seat gives you a weird feeling in your chest, like it doesn't feel right. But you push that feeling down because it's just your anxiety getting to you. The whole car ride to the bar you had been preparing yourself for what you might see, you didn't know what to expect. You were pulled back to reality when you heard sam turn off the engine

"Ready?" he asks.

"Yeah, I think so," You reply.

Cas and Sam both have their weapons ready in case of an attack, you had a gun in the glove box but didn't think to grab it, almost as if your body was in autopilot. One foot moving in front of the other as the three of you head towards the door or the sleazy bar. The minute you step in your ears are greeted with the sound of bad karaoke music. It takes you a minute before you realize the voice singing along with the music.

Dean

Your eyes start frantically looking around for the stage, your heart thumping in your chest. You can hear Sam calling after you, but you ignore him. Running between a large crowd of people you find yourself at the foot of the stage, staring into the vibrant green eyes you've missed so much. That's when he notices you, and his lips tug into a smirk.

When his song finishes he hops off the stage and makes his way back to the bar and orders a drink. You start to march your way over to him when Sam steps in front of you to block any unexpected threats. Dean turns and sees the three of you walking towards him.

"Ugh, are gonna try to drag me home," he grunts. "Cuz your a little late, Crowley already tried that shit and it didn't work on me,"

"Dean, let us help you," Sam says calmly. "We can fix this," you chime in.

"I like the new me baby, I thought you would too," he says smugly.

"I miss my Dean, please come home to me," you say, trying not to let your emotions get the better of you.

"Why would I go home to you when I can have any woman I want, they flock after me like dogs to a juice piece of steak," he stands, towering over you. The tears start to well in your eyes at his words

"Dean, leave her alone, Y/n and I just want to help you," Sam says. His gun is now pointed at Dean, ready to render him immobile if need be.

"I don't think that gun will be needing that Sammy, you see. I've got Back up,"

Everyone in the bar when silent and turned towards them, eyes all going black in unison.

The tension in the room is so thick you could cut it with a knife.

"So I suggest," Dean says will poking you in the shoulder, shoving you back a step.

"That you three," he pokes you in the other shoulder harder, making you stumble further.

"Leave," he's shoved you so hard now that you've fallen onto your back, and he's leaned over you.

"Before we make you leave," He growls, staring you in the eyes while his turn black.

Dean steps back from you and Sam and Cas are right at your side to help you up.

"We need to go now," Sam says "we'll come back when we have a plan," he whispers in your ear.

You turn to leave, and while you're walking away you turn back and shout

"Dean please!" you can feel the tears welling in your eyes again. "I Love you Dean, and I need you to come home." The tears are starting to spill.

"He slowly walks his way back over to you and stops so his face is only inches from yours.

"I never loved you," he says coldly. Turning back to find his seat at the bar.

Stunned, Sam has to pull you out of the bar and put you in the car before you come back to reality.

"Y/n, he's not himself ok, you can't take any of what he says as truth," Sam says trying to comfort you.

"Sam…we need to fix this, now," you say continuing to stare out the front of the car.

"We will Y/n, but it might take some time before we find a way,"

"That's not good enough, we need him back, now," You say again.

Sam and Cas look at you puzzled.

"Let's just go home, and well figure this out there," Cas suggests.

"I can't go back there, not while he's gone," yous say. "Sam drop me off at the nearest motel please, I need some time,"

"Y/n, we can figure this out at home, please let's not do anything crazy," Sam tries.

You look at Sam with pleading eyes, and he knows you won't budge.

"Fine," Sam huffs and starts the car.

Sam drops you off and tells you that he's going to call you every morning and every night to make sure you're ok. But you have other plans in mind. The minute you get your motel room go settle down and lock the door, taking out your phone you block Sam's number and turn off the tracker so he can't find you.

If Sam had known what you were about to do, he would have tried to stop you. You need Dean back and you're prepared to make any sacrifice necessary to do so.

**I hoped you liked this chapter, I will be updating this as often as I can because I really like were this is headed. **


	3. Calling For You - Part 3

_6 Months Later…_

Sam had him, he had finally caught Dean. After months of research and tracking he finally had a way to fix his brother.

But he hadn't had any luck finding you.

Sam had discovered that there was a Men of Letters experiment were they tried to cure a demon, now he had no idea if this worked, they had tried once before. But that didn't end to well for anyone. He walked into the dungeon where they had Dean secured to a chair, in the middle of a devil's trap, with cuffs engraved with special symbols that hinder his powers.

"Morning Sammy," Dean says as Sam walks in the room. He doesn't say a word, he just goes right over to the table with the syringe and collects Dean's dose of purified blood for the morning.

"Sammy, how do you know this isn't just killing your brother in here," He asks

"I don't know," Sam starts. He wanders over to Dean and plunges the syringe into his brother's arm.

"But we need to try," Sam says as Dean lets out a blood-curdling scream.

"Fucking Bitch," He grunts. Sam removes the syringe and walks back to the table to sterilize it.

"You find her yet, my bitch of a girlfriend," Dean asks in a sarcastic tone.

Sam huffs in discouragement. He's gripping the edges of the table trying to calm his anger. He wasn't angry with you, he was angry with himself for leaving you alone, so you could run away and go off the grid. In a fit of frustration, Sam shoves the table away from him and storms out of the room, slamming the dungeon door behind him, while Dean chuckles to himself.

Little did he know, you've had the worst past six months of your life…

Right after Sam had dropped you off at that motel six months ago you had been studying demons, and possession day in and day out. Until you knew almost everything. That was your plan, find one of Dean's demon buddies and make him an offer he couldn't refuse.

_5 months ago…._

_You were waiting at the meetup spot, in the back alley of one of the bars Dean frequented. You had been waiting for half an hour and were about to bail when he appeared from around the corner. _

"_Y/n? Y/n Y/l/n," he questioned. "Never thought I would hear from the one and only Dean Winchesters side piece," You try to hold back your anger at the nickname. _

"_What do you want?" he asks. _

"_I wanna make a deal," you state._

"_Really? What kinda deal," he inquires. _

"_I want you to help Sam get Dean to come home," you say "help him by dropping hints of his location over angel radio, so Cas and Sam can find him," _

"_I might be able to do that… What would you give me in return?" he says with a smirk_

"_I'll do anything you want, just please help me," the longer this conversation goes on the harder you find it to hold back your emotions. _

"_Here's my proposal," he says. "When Sam gets Dean home, I'll come back and ask you for a favor, if you deny I will get Dean to kill Sam in front of you, how's that sound?" He asks. _

"_Okay," you blurt out before you have a chance to think it over. _

"_Great, let's seal that with a…" he says smirking in your direction because he knows you know what he means. You lean in and press a kiss to his slimy lips, he holds your head there for a minute, as if he's savoring the moment. _

_When he releases you he vanishes, and you are left alone in the dark alley to think about the decision you just made. _

Present-day

You were sitting in your motel room, knowing that your inevitable fate was on its way. You can feel an immense weight on your shoulders, walking over to the mirror you looked at your disheveled appearance, you hadn't brushed your hair and generally didn't care about yourself, and then he appears, laying in your bed.

"Hey Sweetheart, you look… great," he says sarcastically.

"Is he home? is my Dean home?" you ask, still looking at your reflection in the mirror.

"Yes, now it's time to settle your end of the bill,"

"What do you want," you say coldly.

"I just wanna… borrow that beautiful body of yours to do my bidding," he says with a seductive growl which makes you want to throw up.

"How long?" you mumble. "What darling?" he starts. "Say that again,"

"How long do you want me for?" you spoke up.

He took a moment to think, staring at you through the mirror. His hand settled under his chin in thought.

"Well, I've done five months of work for you… and in demon years one is actually ten years, so I say in demon years five…" you had lost track of his words when he started getting into years. It would be years before you ever saw Dean again, that is... if he even wanted to see you. Sam had no idea what you had done while off the grid, and what was he supposed to tell dean when he cured him. This might be your life now.

"Five years oughta do the trick, what do you say?" his voice brings you back to reality.

"Fine," you say and you rush over pressing a quick kiss to his vessels lips to seal the deal as quickly as possible.

"So eager are we, but there's one problem," he says pointing at your chest. You pull the neck of your shirt down to reveal the anti-possession tattoo Dean made you get for protection.

"We need to do something about that mark, you gotta knife?" he asks.

You rush over to your duffle bag and pull out a switchblade. You had it to him and he wastes no time in cutting a slit through the symbol. One tear slips your eye and he gingerly raises his thumb to your cheek yo wipe it away.

"Now this might hurt," he says before you see the black cloud of smoke exit the old vessel and enter you, and your world goes black.

"It's warm in here," you can hear the demon clear as day. Like the talking through speakers in your brain.

"I'm going to have so much fun with you," he growls.

That's when your nightmares begin.

_**3 years later…**_

Sam and Dean had been looking for you for years before they were given a tip from a hunter that they saw you in a diner north of Colorado. The minute they heard this they jumped in the impala and raced to get you. You were taken completely off guard and fought your hardest to get out of the cuffs but it was no use. They finally had you. You could see everything that was happening from inside the cage he trapped you in, knowing you couldn't get out until your contract was up.


	4. Calling For You - Part 4

When you woke up you were strapped to a chair in the middle of a concrete room. Your eyes had yet to adjust and it wasn't until then that you realized you were back in the bunker. The dungeon to be more precise. You felt the exhaustion of the past three years weighing down on you. That when you heard the sound of boots thumping on the floor. You were barely able to raise your head enough to see who it was.

"You ready to talk?" Dean asked. Dean! You lifted your head instantly and were met with the stunning green eyes that you've missed for the past three years.

"Dean! I've missed you so much, oh god," you could barely keep the tears from spilling out of your eyes.

"I've heard that before Belphegor, now get out of her!" Dean boomed. You flinched at the sound, terrified that this was another one of Belphegor's nightmares.

"What? Dean it's me, you gotta believe me," you said the pain in your heart almost too much to handle. It wasn't supposed to be this way.

"Quit spewing your lies, now let her go!" he shouted even louder and you broke down.

"Cut the act," he said and threw a cup of holy water over you. You screamed in pain, because for some strange reason. It burned so deep in your belly that you had to hold back the bile.

"That's what I thought," he said.

Right before he was about to douse you again, you think of the only word that you know Dean knows, to let him know something was wrong.

"Poughkeepsie," it comes out as barely a whisper, but he stops. He looks into your eye and can see the pain, and he couldn't believe it.

"What?" he asks.

"Poughkeepsie," you repeat a little louder. Dean drops the cup of holy water and it smashed to the ground.

That's when you feel something stirring from inside. Belphegor never left your body, he only let you have control so he could rip you away from Dean once again.

"Dean you gotta listen to me, Belphegor is still inside of me please Dean you gotta get him out," you can feel the muscles in your neck and shoulders start to strain as you hold of Belphegor. Dean is stunned and doesn't know what to do, he couldn't get over the pain in your eyes, looking at the years of torture you must have sustained. He starts to stumble back towards the door.

"Dean! Please don't leave me!" you scream, fight your hardest to hold off Belphegor as long as you can.

"You can't let him drag me back down! Please," You let out another blood-curdling scream and you know you can't hold him off any longer. And he pulls you back down the depths of your subconscious. The last thing Dean heard from you as he stumbled to find Sam was your last scream for help.

Dean had walked down the hall to find Sam, he needed to go cool off. He couldn't stand the thought of your suffering, all because of him. When Belphegor had actually talked to Dean, he only ever told him how she was suffering because he was stupid enough to take the mark. How she wouldn't have had to sacrifice herself to a demon to get him back, and now she would have to pay the ultimate price for his mistake. He loves you with all his heart can offer, and knowing that you did that for him after how he treated you and spoke to you leaves a dark feeling inside of Dean's chest.

Sam notice Dean enter the room with a depressed look across his face. He could see the sheen of sweat that coated Dean's face and neck.

"What happened, I heard some screaming," Sam said as it seemed pretty normal for an uncooperative demon to be screaming. He didn't answer Sam. Sam gave him a puzzled look, and when Dean would return his glances he got up and started walking after him.

"Hey," Sam started and Dean picked up the pace as he headed towards his room.

"Hey, Hey Hey Hey, what happened in there?" Sam asked again just as he grabbed his brother's arm and spun him around. When he looked at Dean in the eyes he could see they were red and puffy, as if he had been crying.

"What Sam? Do you want me to tell you... that I found Y/n in there," Sam was confused

"Not Belphegor Sam, it was Y/n in that chair, screaming, because she sold herself to save me, and now she has a demon living inside of her, causing her al that pain and suffering," Dean's eyes were beginning to water again.

"Sam it's my fault she's in there, she did this to save me," Dean said breaking down in front of his brother.

"How am I supposed to go in there, and look at her when I've hurt her so bad Sam?"

Sam didn't know what to say, he knew dean was struggling but anytime Sam went to talk about it he brushed it off and acted like nothing was wrong.

"Dean, we all blame ourselves for what happened to Y/n, I shouldn't have let her go out on her own like that, I knew she could handle herself. I just didn't know she was going to do this," Sam sighs trying to sympathize with his brother.

"But the difference is that we now have the tool and experience to fix this," Sam says laying a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"I can't go back in there," Dean says shakily. "I can't do it," Dean turns and continues his trek back to his room. Leaving Sam alone in the hallway.

A couple hours later Sam went back to the dungeon to check on you. When he entered he was met with the black colored eyes of your captor.

"Hey Hey Hey Sammy," he said comically. It made Sam hurt to listen to him use your voice like that, not knowing what was happening to you on the inside.

"Get out of her," Sam asks calmly.

"No can do sir, we have a binding contract, five years," Belphegor states. "And if I don't remember correctly, you kidnapped me only three years in, so she's still got a solid two years left until she's retired," he said mockingly.

"What if we made a deal? I give you something you want, in return for Y/n, safely." Sam asks.

"You don't have anything I want," he replies.

Sam offers up everything of use to a demon that he can think of, even the demon blade. But Belphegor doesn't want any of it. He just wants you. Just as Sam is getting ready to leave, Belphegor decides to fall back into the shadows of your soul, and ride shotgun for a bit.

"Sam!" you shout as you regain control of your body. "Sam you can't leave me here! Sam!" When he reaches the door frame he is hit with flashbacks from the last time he had to leave you here, everything after that he blames himself for.

"Sam you're all I have, Dean can't even look at me!" you say crying. "Please Sam," it comes out as barely a whisper. But he leaves anyways. Belphegor didn't return you to the cage in your mind, he let you sit there and feel every ounce of pain you could, he left you like that for hours, until you were begging to be put away again, where you would feel the physical pain instead of the pain in your heart.

Little did you know Sam had gone off to call the one and only king of Hell to help break the legally binding contract you found yourself stuck in.


	5. Calling For You - Part 5

After some major convincing on Sam's part, he Dean, and Cas found themselves in the throne room of Hell, standing before the one and only king… Crowley. He stared back at them with a smirk. None of them want to be the first to start this conversation. The tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife.

"So, Moose, Squirrel, feathers, what do I owe the pleasure?"

"We need your help," Sam said quickly.

"What is it you need my help with," he asks.

"We need your help getting Y/n out of a contract with one of your demons named Belphegor," Dean says.

Crowley takes some time to think over the proposal.

"What was the deal?" he asks.

"That Belphegor helps Sam capture demon me, and in return, he gets possess her for five years, shes only go two left apparently," Dean replies.

Crowly stops to think again, making the boys stand and wait for his decision.

"I can't do anything, she's just going to have to wait it out," he says. Dean can barely stop the rage from getting to him, and before Sam can stop him, he's charged at Crowley and grabs him by his pretty little collar and punched him in the face. Sam and Cas run after him and pull him away.

When Crowley finally stops seeing stars he looks at Dean who already had tears streaming down his cheeks, as Cas and Sam hold him back.

"You need to help us fucking fix this, you son of a bitch, you are the goddamn king of hell so don't spew me any bullshit saying you can't fix shit," Dean's voice is hoarse because of all the emotions he's been holding in the past few days. Holding back every cry that wants to rip through him every time he hears your screams and cries of pain.

Crowley stops to take in all that is happening before in and has a change of heart.

"I'll see what I can do," he says nonchalantly. "That's the best you're going to get," he says

Dean tries to lung at Crowley, but Sam and Cas are already dragging him back out of the throne room.

"We need to go Dean," Sam says. "Before we mess it up, he's agreed to help, let's just go,"

And with that Dean stopped struggling, and lead the way out.

Back at the bunker Dean, Sam and Cas are all sitting at the table in the kitchen, for once there was silence in all of the bunker. Now screams of pain, no whimpering, nothing. It was almost a little too quiet.

"I'm going to check on Y/n," Sam said before getting up from the table to leave. Leaving Cas and Dean alone. Dean was leaning with his head in his hand.

"Are you alright?" Cas asked. But all he received was silence. "De-"

"Cas shut it, Ok! I'm definitely not alright!" Dean shouted.

"I wish everyone would stop asking me that," he sighed. That's when they heard a loud crash coming from down the hall.

"Sammy?" Dean shouted down the hall. And as if on queue another loud crash sounded.

Sprinting to the dungeon they find Sam unconscious against the wall, the sound of someone thrashing around was what dragged their attention over to the other side of the room, where crowley had you pinned against the wall using his demon powers.

"Belphegor," Crowley boomed. "You're going to leave this poor girls body now, or when you do eventually get back to hell no one in the history of torture will have been tortured with the torture that you'll be tortured with," he says with belphegor still squirming under his grip.

"Fine," he chokes out. And the black smoke starts to fall from you mouth, into the floor and back to hell where he belongs.

Crowly lets you go, and you scream in pain once again, and slump to the floor.

"Y/n, Y/n!?" Dean runs over to you, and holds you. You grunt when he tries to move himself around you.

"H-he b-broke a fe-w-w of my r-r-ribs during a f-f-fight," you say "A-and I-I-I think he d-d-dislocated m-my s-shoulder." you are barely able to breath underneath the weight of exhaustion you are feeling. Dean looks at you, your face is pale and almost lifeless, your eyes are sagging with exhaustion.

Cas is immediately by you side, he places his fingers on your forehead to asses the damage before he sends his grace flowing through you to heal you, while he was healing you you let the warmth bring you into a state of unconsciousness.

"Cas, what happened?!" Dean asked concerned.

"She had more than just a few broken bones, Dean's she's been almost completely drained of life, she hasn't slept in months, eaten, or anything." Dean couldn't bear the news. "She needs to rest and regain her strength," Dean lifts you up and starts to carry you back to your shared room.

He pushes the door open, and lays you down gingerly on your side of the bed, and tucks you in. He steps back to take in your figure, he notices now just how slim you'd gotten. He sheds a few silent tears while looking at you, before he pulled a chair up to your side of the bed to sit in. he takes your small limp hand in his and kisses it before setting it back down. He rests his forehead on the edge of the bed, stays like that praying to god that you live. His tears still silently falling from his face onto the tiled floor below.

days before you woke up. Dean stayed by your bed the whole time, he hadn't showered in days. But he didn't care. He wanted to be there when you finally woke up. He had noticed you had started to stir in you sleep, he was right up and beside you in a second.

The first thing you were met with were the beautifully stunning green eyes of the man you _had _loved. But all they brought you was anxiety and fear. He looked into your eyes with a loving gaze, you could see his mouth moving, but you couldn't hear anything he was saying. All you could hear was your heartbeat in your ears, and how it picked up every second you stayed staring back at him.


	6. Calling For You - Part 6

Dean could see the panicked look in your eyes.

"Y/n? Y/n?" he was lightly shaking your shoulder, but that only caused you to go into more of a panic.

"Please stop," you sobbed. "I can't take it Belphegor, please," you were full-on crying now.

"Y/n it's me, honey… it's just me," Dean said concerned, he had tried to wrap himself around you. But you had scooted away from him towards the headboard of your bed, still crying and hyperventilating.

Dean took a step back and took in your cowering form. In a split second, he rushed out of the room to get Sam. He burst into Sam's room huffing and puffing (and blowing his house down, ha humor).

"Sam! Y/n is awake!" he says between huffs. "She got scared when she saw it was me *huff* and I need you *huff* to *huff* help her please," he lets out a defeated sign as Sam rushed out of bed and to you. Dean in all his exhaustion falls to the floor and leaned his back against the cool tile.

'_This is all my fault_' he thought to himself. '_How could I let this happen'._

Sam had slowed down by the time he had reached your room as to not scare you more. He peered in and saw that you had your legs drawn up to your chest, and your head buried between them trying to calm your breathing.

"Y/n?" Sam asked quietly.

"This isn't real, this isn't real, this isn't real," you had been telling yourself it wasn't real since Dean left.

"Y/n, it's me, Sam." you looked up and were met with the caring hazel eyes of your friend… brother even. But you knew it was too good to be true.

"Please stop Belphegor, I can't take it anymore," you sobbed. "Just kill me already," you whispered to yourself.

"Y/n he's gone now, Dean and I got rid of Belphegor, he can't hurt you anymore," Sam said.

"Your safe now," he said.

For the first time since you had woken up, you had actually taken the time to look around your room. It was just how you remembered it. All of your things cluttered the space, along with all of Dean's. You looked back to Sam who had stepped further into the room. From what you remember from your time with Belphegor, he had never really used Sam you plague you with nightmares. You gingerly got up out of bed and walked over to wrap your arms around Sam. Sam carefully wrapped himself around you, he could feel your spine and every rib under the Dean's baggy shirt he put you in to get you out of your old ones.

You sobbed into his shirt, but he didn't care. Sam just wanted to make you feel safe.

"I can't do it," you whispered into his chest. "I can't face Dean, not after all this," you said softly.

"Y/n, what happened?" Sam asked softly, "You know you can tell me anything right?"

You turned your head to the side so that you could hear Sam's heartbeat. But in doing so you found yourself staring at a photo of you and Dean you had placed on the top of your bookshelf. You looked so happy together. But how could it ever be the same?

"Y/n?" Sam's voice brought you back to reality. "Do you wanna tell me what happened?"

"Not yet," you whispered back. You couldn't deal with all that happened just yet. It was too fresh in your mind. The only thing you could do now got through life until the day it doesn't hurt anymore.

"Can I go back to my room?" you asked Sam.

"What do you mean Y/n? You're already in your ro-"

"No Sam, my old room. Just for a little while," You interrupted him.

"Ya," he huffs. "That's fine, just let me go tell Dean." He lets go of you and leaves the room.

You plop back down on the bed and take a look at all of the memories you and Dean had made over the years. You pulled open the desk drawer to find tooth from the first vamp you had killed together, a picture he took of you from the first time he took you and Baby out for a drive to view the sunset, and the necklace he got for you for valentines day last year. You took it off right after he died because it hurt you too much to look at it. You close the drawer again and stood up to start packing some of your clothes to take back to your room.

Sam had gone back to his room to find Dean on the floor with his head in his hands.

"Dean?" Sam asked. Dean barely even lifted his head to reply to his brother.

"Y/n is going to be moving back to her old room for a little while," Sam said hesitantly. "She just needs some time to process what happened this past year," he stated.

"Alright," it barely came out as a whisper. "Whatever she needs," he says.

"I also think it might be smart to avoid her for a little bit beca-"

"Sam she's my whole world!" Dean had jumped to his feet and was standing inches from his brother's face.

"Or at least she was…" Dean trailed off, turning away from Sam. "She's scared of me, isn't she. That stupid son-of-a-bitch Belphegor must have used her relationship with me to mess with her mind." Dean was pacing around the room now. Sam was watching his brother, he could see just how exhausted he was, dark circles under his eyes, same clothes from days ago, he hadn't showered in days. The sound of a thud brought Sam back to reality. They both walked over to the doorway to find you clinging to the door frame for dear life.

"Y/n!" Sam exclaimed. He was right over at your side to hold you up.

"Sam, I'm fine, I can move on my own." You grit your teeth in pain.

"Y/n, you should really be in bed," Sam says concerned.

"Sam I just want to have a warm shower, I haven't in months," you say.

You can tell Dean is hiding in the other room, it breaks your heart to think that someone you used to love so much can cause you so much pain now. You push yourself off of the wall and start to make your way towards the showers, using the walls along the way to keep you steady.


	7. Calling For You - Part 7

You had finally made it to the showers, stepping into the steamy spray was the best feeling you've had in months. This is the first time you had really taken a second to look as the pain that was inflicted on your body. Bruises and scars cover your body from head to toe. You started to gently lather yourself in body wash, watching as all of the dirt and grime flows down the drain.

Dean had followed you to the bathroom, not to be creepy and spy on you like that. But just to make sure you were ok. And from outside of the bathroom door he could hear you humming the tune of _Hey Jude_ which is what he used to do for you when you had a hard time falling asleep. The memories started to flood back to Dean, and he had started singing along with you before he had realized you had turned the shower off. Once he had, he rushed to his feet and started walking back to his room.

Stepping out of the shower you thought that you had heard someone outside. Your heart rate started to pick up, you could let what had happened to keep you from living your life you thought to yourself. So you wrap yourself in your towel and slowly start to make your way over to the door. You grip the handle in your hand tightly… and fling the door open. Only to be met with the solid black eyes of Belphegor.

"No!" You scream trying to slam the door shut, but he won't let you. He starts to stalk his way over to you. You stumble back onto the floor, almost losing your towel.

"Y/n!" Sam Yells. "Y/n are you ok!" Sam shouts again, he comes running from around the corner. He finds you curled up in a ball in the corner of the bathroom.

"Y/n? Y/n? What wrong he asks.

"H-h-he's b-b-b-back, I-I-I saw h-h-him when I o-o-opened the d-d-door," you say with a shaking breath.

"He's gone now, he can't hurt you anymore," Sam Says. He's looking around the bathroom for something you can cover yourself with when he sees a robe hanging against the wall. He grabs it and gingerly wraps it around you and helps you to your feet. He slowly starts to walk you back to your room.

On the way there you pass by the kitchen, glancing in you see Dean sitting at the island, a glass of what you can only you can assume is scotch. Sam continues to guide you back to your

room, your heart pounding a little harder in your chest.

Once you arrive at your room, Sam helps you settle into bed.

"Do you need anything before I go?" he asks.

"Can I talk to you about something?" you ask in return.

"Of course Y/n, you can ask me anything," he says.

"Is this real or not real?" you ask, staring up at Sam.

"What do you mean?" he asks, confused.

"Is this real?" you ask again.

"This is real Y/n," Sam says calmly.

Sam turned to leave when he was stopped by you grabbing his sleeve.

"Dean loves me, real or not real?" you ask timidly.

"Real," he whispers back.

"Ok," you mumble, you start to let go of Sam's sleeve when you notice Dean has been standing in the doorway the whole time. You could see the heartbreak in his eyes. He looks so tired.

"Y/n, can I talk to you?" Dean asks delicately.

"Do you want me to stay?" asks Sam. You shake your head slightly, letting Sam know he's ok to leave. On Sam's way past Dean, he stops and gives him a light pat on the shoulder.

Dean takes a few steps into your old room, he looks around at all of the things you hadn't moved into his room, ou hadn't had any time since you moved in with him right before he took the mark. You can tell Dean is nervous, he keeps clearing his throat and fidgeting.

"Y/n I need you to know…to remember that whatever Belphegor made you think I did, I would never do," he says with a tremble in his chin.

"I love you so much, all I ever wanted to do was protect you… but now I see I can't even do that," you can tell this is becoming particularly hard for him to talk to you about. He dips his head in shame and guilt. You can hear his deep and jagged breaths.

"I know," you whisper. Dean raises his head so his eyes can meet yours.

"What?" he asks.

"I know Dean," you say a little louder. "But I still need some time to figure everything out," you say. You can hear him sign and you see his whole body relax a little.

"That's what Sam and I are here for," he replies. "We love you so much Y/n, there isn't anything we wouldn't for you," he says.

"Thank you," you whisper.

Dean looks to you and nods his head, he turns to head towards the doorway, before he leaves he turns back one more time to see you get comfortable in bed.

"Goodnight Y/n," he says under his breath.

You look over to the door when you hear it click shut, and that's when you see _him_, standing there again.


	8. CAlling For You - Part 8

You were frozen in fear, staring at the figure that stood in front of your now closed door. The sound of the lock cut through the silence.

"Y-y-your not r-r-real," you say shakily. It starts to move closer, and the closer it gets the more your heart races.

"Oh, but I am sweetheart," he grumbles. You know that voice all too well.

"B-B-Belphegor," you tremble. He gives you a wide smirk.

"Oh I'm afraid I am," he states. The panic in your heart begins to quicken as he steps closer to you.

"You're not real," you say a little louder than the last time.

"That's what you think," he says, still slowly making his way towards you.

You struggle to move further away from his, your ribs and shoulder still hurt because of him.

While you're trying to maneuver your way to the other side of the bed, he's standing right beside you. He reached out to grip your chin, forcing you to look him straight in the eyes.

"I. Made. You," he says. Your blood begins to boil. How could he say he made you.

"You made me?" you ask. "You ruined me!" You shout. "You ruined me! You hear me! You broke me down just so you could build me back up in your own sick and twisted image!" You shout painfully.

"Did I do that?" he says with a playfully confused tone. Just then he snaps his fingers and Dean comes barging through your door. Belphegor vanishes and Dean comes rushing over to you.

"Y/n!? Y/n!? What's wrong?" he asks frantically, watching as you try to get as much distance between him and you as possible.

"Please don't," you cry. "Please, get away from me! Don't hurt me!" Dean can see the tears streaming down your face.

"I'm not going to hurt you, baby, it's me, the real me," Dean keeps trying to get you to understand, but you've moved so far away from him that you're almost falling off the bed.

"Sammy!" Dean yells. "Sammy come quick!" he yells again. Soon after Sam come rushing in.

"What happened?!" he asked concerned.

"I think she's having an episode, she won't talk to me," Dean says, he takes a step back so Y/n can see Sam.

"Hey, hey hey hey," Sam says putting both arms on your shoulder to bring you back to reality.

"Sam?" you ask timidly. He can feel you shaking underneath his palms.

"Ya Y/n, it's me," he replies.

"H-H-He was here… i-i-in my r-r-room," you sob. "H-H-He felt s-s-so real,"

"He's gone Y/n, he can't hurt you," Sam says as he wraps himself around your quivering form.

You just sit there sobbing into Sam's shirt as Dean and Sam looked at each other with concerned faces.

Eventually you fall asleep in Sams arms, and he laid you back down to tuck you in. Dean had left just minutes before Sam, but Sam stays for a while to make sure you were fine when you woke up. Dean however had other plans. As he had left Y/n's room he felt like a shadow fell over him. Everything he did to try to make sure your were ok was a waste because you didn't trust him like you used to. A sliver of him hated you for it, but he knew it wasn't your fault… it was _his._


End file.
